Were you recently bitten by your friend’s unusually large
dog and now you’re noticing a few strange things have begun to occur? Maybe you
were camping and all of a sudden you woke up and your memory isn’t what it used
to be? Maybe while on a late night excursion with your new boyfriend, things
got a little hot, until he nibbled a little too enthusiastically on your neck?
Maybe you’re turning into a werewolf . . .
Here are the top ten signs you might be turning into a
werewolf:
1)
You find yourself looking at other humans and thinking lunch.
2)
You start to notice smells you never smelled before.
3)
You growl at
people instead of talking to them. They don’t growl back.
4)
Your nails begin to grow at an alarming rate and are
suddenly incredibly sharp but, on the bright side, you no longer have any
trouble opening, well, anything.
5)
You scratch your head in public using your leg.
6)
You greet your friends at the bus stop by sniffing
their butts. They don’t appreciate or reciprocate.
7)
You begin to grow hair in all the wrong places. ALL the
wrong places.
8)
You urinate on other people’s property, claiming it as
your own, but they don’t agree and seem offended about it.
9)
When someone throws a ball, against all solid logic and
reason, you have to chase it, no matter what the situation.
10) While before you may have loved cats and how
cuddly they were, you now view them as vicious little meowing furballs of evil
that must be destroyed.
If you find yourself noticing any of the above,
congratulations! You’re a werewolf. Welcome to a life of running away from
silver bullet-wielding crazy people, and chasing cats, balls, and anything
you’re determined to eat.
**********************************
Andrew Buckley attended the Vancouver Film School’s Writing
for Film and Television program. After pitching and developing several
screenplay projects for film and television, he worked in marketing and public
relations, before becoming a professional copy and content writer. During this
time Andrew began writing his first adult novel, DEATH, THE DEVIL AND THE
GOLDFISH, followed closely by his second novel, STILTSKIN. He also writes a spy
thriller series under the pen name ‘Jane D Everly’.
Andrew also co-hosts a geek movie podcast, is working on
several new novels, and has a stunning amount of other ideas. He now lives
happily in the Okanagan Valley, BC with three kids, one cat, one needy dog, one
beautiful wife, and a multitude of characters that live comfortably inside of
his mind.
Andrew is represented by Mark Gottlieb at the Trident Media
Group.
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