Thursday, June 2, 2016
Guest Blogger: Andrew Buckley - 10 Signs You Might be Turning into a Werewolf
Were you recently bitten by your friend’s unusually large dog and now you’re noticing a few strange things have begun to occur? Maybe you were camping and all of a sudden you woke up and your memory isn’t what it used to be? Maybe while on a late night excursion with your new boyfriend, things got a little hot, until he nibbled a little too enthusiastically on your neck? Maybe you’re turning into a werewolf . . .
Here are the top ten signs you might be turning into a werewolf:
1) You find yourself looking at other humans and thinking lunch.
2) You start to notice smells you never smelled before.
3) You growl at people instead of talking to them. They don’t growl back.
4) Your nails begin to grow at an alarming rate and are suddenly incredibly sharp but, on the bright side, you no longer have any trouble opening, well, anything.
5) You scratch your head in public using your leg.
6) You greet your friends at the bus stop by sniffing their butts. They don’t appreciate or reciprocate.
7) You begin to grow hair in all the wrong places. ALL the wrong places.
8) You urinate on other people’s property, claiming it as your own, but they don’t agree and seem offended about it.
9) When someone throws a ball, against all solid logic and reason, you have to chase it, no matter what the situation.
10) While before you may have loved cats and how cuddly they were, you now view them as vicious little meowing furballs of evil that must be destroyed.
If you find yourself noticing any of the above, congratulations! You’re a werewolf. Welcome to a life of running away from silver bullet-wielding crazy people, and chasing cats, balls, and anything you’re determined to eat.
Andrew Buckley attended the Vancouver Film School’s Writing for Film and Television program. After pitching and developing several screenplay projects for film and television, he worked in marketing and public relations, before becoming a professional copy and content writer. During this time Andrew began writing his first adult novel, DEATH, THE DEVIL AND THE GOLDFISH, followed closely by his second novel, STILTSKIN. He also writes a spy thriller series under the pen name ‘Jane D Everly’.
Andrew also co-hosts a geek movie podcast, is working on several new novels, and has a stunning amount of other ideas. He now lives happily in the Okanagan Valley, BC with three kids, one cat, one needy dog, one beautiful wife, and a multitude of characters that live comfortably inside of his mind.
Andrew is represented by Mark Gottlieb at the Trident Media Group.
This was a fascinating book. Between 1898 and 1912 there were quite a lot of axe murders of entire families throughout the US. I never k...
MM: Frances, give us the back story on how and when you became an author? I started by telling stories. I’d walk home from school wit...
Hannah Swensen loves the Christmas Season in Lake Eden, Minnesota but this year nothing is as cozy as it should be murder is anything but co...
Cathy is a very shy girl who is being bullied by the popular Tiffany. Surla is a cat - the familiar of a nasty witch for hundreds of year...